Imperfection At Its Finest

This is me.

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Perfectionist

Worrywart

Competitive

Impatient

Control freak

Dislikes change

This is me with a baby.

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The transition from my finely tuned, orderly life to motherhood has not been a walk in the park for this high strung mamacita. 

Because, let's face it, babies are ALWAYS CHANGING! 

Every day is different and each new week is worlds apart from the previous one. Emma goes from being a napping, eating machine one week to catnapping, hardly eating, and a crabby patty the next. 

And all this makes me a little bit of a crazy pants!

Why does this make me so crazy?? 

Because I like to be in control. I like things to go MYYYYYYYYYY WAAAAAY!!! 

And just so you know......my way = perfect. :)

If things aren't going my way, I try to squish them into my mold of perfection. This doesn't work with a baby. So what happens is that I start to screw things up.

For example, Emma woke up 30 minutes early from her nap. So I went up, shushed and patted her and left the room. I did this several times. She started crying like I've never heard her cry before. And I just kinda sat on the couch because I was not getting her up early. It was still nap time and wasn't even close to feeding time. She was going to stay in bed!! 

Ben went up and got her up, brought her down (still screaming bloody murder) and started to feed her. She proceeded to eat all 7 oz of milk. Whooooops. Well, I screwed that up. I was so worried about her sticking to my schedule that I didn't even consider that she may be hungry. So much for perfection.

But I found comfort in this quote I found this morning:  

Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else's happiness

and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, 

to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is... 

and to forgive yourself, over and over again, 

for doing everything wrong. 

~ Donna Ball, At Home on Lady Bug Farm

Motherhood is imperfect. I will do things wrong. On an hourly basis. And I have to be okay with that. 

So, instead of trying so hard to be perfect, I'm going to start doing my best to be Emma's mom. :)

3 months old and a wedding!

Someone's 3 months old today! 

And we're pretty sure she's teething. But at least I got a good smile out of her.

In other news......my brother.............

....................................

GOT MARRIED!!!!!!

At least Cassie makes up for his lack of normalcy. 

Who am I kidding? He's not the only one a little off kilter! :)

Missing Me

I will preface this post with the following: 

These are my honest feelings. You may not agree with them and I don't expect you to. But please don't try to make me feel guilty for feeling the way I do. 

And if you do, I with climb through my computer and mess you up! :)

Is identity loss a normal feeling after having kids? 

I think moms don't talk about this sort of thing for fear of looking like a bad parent. 

But I'm saying it:  I miss my old life. I miss ME! 

And I don't feel bad about that. I don't think I should feel bad about missing how things used to be.

I miss sleeping through the night. 

I miss going on motorcycle rides.

I miss getting to do my hair every day. (I really, really, REALLY miss this!!)

I miss going wherever I wanted whenever I felt like it.

I miss work....mainly because I was in charge and things generally went how I wanted. :)
I miss having free time!!! (I started this post early this afternoon and didn't get to finish it until tonight!)

And I really dislike being asked how I feel about being a mom. Because I know what they want to hear. 

"Oh, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it! It's so AMAZING!!!!" 

Please.

My response is more like, "It's hard but I like it for the most part." 

I'm sorry, you didn't like my answer? Then don't ask the question in the first place.

Look, none of this means that I wish I weren't a mom. See what a cutie she is??

But I'm allowed to miss parts of my life now that I have a baby.

And I don't have to feel bad about it. 

I feel better getting that out there. :)

Effective DIY Skin Care

I confess that I am a makeup and skin care junkie. I have been for many, many years and my employment at DermUs Skin Care has only fueled the flame.

Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom with a 2 month old who poops her way through 10+ diapers a day, I've had to cut out some of my favorite products.

So I'm taking matters into my own hands and making them myself!

Most of the DIY skin care I've tried has been unsuccessful for two reasons:

1.) It aggravates my acne prone skin.
2.) It isn't strong enough.

So I've always thought that those "make it at home" recipes are a sham......until now!

I've found two inexpensive and effective recipes that I love!

But here's a warning: I love aggressive products/methods. If it doesn't "stingle" (sting/tingle) or leave my face red then I feel like it's not working. So these may not necessarily be for you.

Pore Strips/Mask

Super easy to make and really, really cheap, too!

http://cdn.petitelefant.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/pore-strips1.jpg

This stuff really gets rid of dead skin and even the peach fuzz on your face if you yank if off hard enough.

But don't make the mistake I did!!!

I got it in my eyebrows and without thinking, pulled off a section and ripped out part of my brows--oooops! So, avoid the brow area! :)

Exfoliating Cleanser

When I ran out of my favorite super scrubby cleanser, I took matters into my own hands and made my own. And it's AWESOME!!!

First, I crushed up several aspirin because it's got salicylic acid in it, which is good for oily/acne prone skin.

Then, I mixed that together with some baking soda and filled up my bareMinerals exfoliating cleanser container with this concoction.

So you just wet your face, pour some of the powder into your hand and mix with a little water, and work into your skin.

Viola!! A couple of great things you can do for your skin with stuff that's already in your home!

The Many Faces of Emma: The 2 Month Edition

She's no longer an expressionless cute little blob of baby!

I give you an inventory of Emma's newest facial expressions. 

Chillin

Bored

Pooping

(funny side note: Joy Behar was blabbing on The View at the same time)

Working on a smile....

....and then a meltdown 15 seconds later

A real smile!

I 'm not sure what was happening here. Any ideas?

We will revisit this in a few more months for more new facial expressions :)

Still making stuff

Trying to find time here and there to be crafty! :)

New 4th of July wreath

Barbie onesie for Emma.

Garage sale canvas paintings upcycled with masking tape and spray paint.

Chalk wall hangings for the living room.

Box for my flip flops so they're not scattered all around the house!

Extra fabric from flip flop box for a summery wreath.

Favorite Things

I've never been much of a baby person.

"Want to hold my baby?"
"I see her fine right there, thank you." :)

And not being much of a baby person means that I really didn't have much of a clue about babies in general. Six weeks in to parenthood and I still don't have much of a clue about babies!!!
But these are the things that are making being a new mom a lot easier for me.

Forty Days and FORTY NIGHTS! Devotions For New Mothers
Easy, relevant devotions for when I feel like freaking out. And sometimes I still do freak out! But at least I have a few quiet moments in the morning.

On Becoming Baby Wise
An awesome book passed on to us from Ben's cousin (well, his cousin's wife, if you want to be all technical). The book is all about parent guided eat/wake/sleep cycles for the baby which leads to your baby sleeping through the night very early on. We love it. Emma started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks. Is it perfect? No. Do we follow it to the letter? No. You still have to use common sense as a parent. But it's a great guide and we're sticking with it. :)

ItzBeen Timer
LOVE THIS THING! I can keep track of diaper changes, feeding times, napping, and when I need to pump next. Makes my days a lot easier to keep track of. :)

Beaba bottle drying tree

This was a gift and it's great. Who has time to dry all those bottles?

Hand-free pumping bra
Why spend $30-$40 on one when you can make your own!!!!

And there you have it. A few of the things that are helping me survive being a mom. :)