This is me.
This is me with a baby.
The transition from my finely tuned, orderly life to motherhood has not been a walk in the park for this high strung mamacita.
Because, let's face it, babies are ALWAYS CHANGING!
Every day is different and each new week is worlds apart from the previous one. Emma goes from being a napping, eating machine one week to catnapping, hardly eating, and a crabby patty the next.
And all this makes me a little bit of a crazy pants!
Why does this make me so crazy??
Because I like to be in control. I like things to go MYYYYYYYYYY WAAAAAY!!!
And just so you know......my way = perfect. :)
If things aren't going my way, I try to squish them into my mold of perfection. This doesn't work with a baby. So what happens is that I start to screw things up.
For example, Emma woke up 30 minutes early from her nap. So I went up, shushed and patted her and left the room. I did this several times. She started crying like I've never heard her cry before. And I just kinda sat on the couch because I was not getting her up early. It was still nap time and wasn't even close to feeding time. She was going to stay in bed!!
Ben went up and got her up, brought her down (still screaming bloody murder) and started to feed her. She proceeded to eat all 7 oz of milk. Whooooops. Well, I screwed that up. I was so worried about her sticking to my schedule that I didn't even consider that she may be hungry. So much for perfection.
But I found comfort in this quote I found this morning:
Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else's happiness
and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons,
to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...
and to forgive yourself, over and over again,
for doing everything wrong.
~ Donna Ball, At Home on Lady Bug Farm
Motherhood is imperfect. I will do things wrong. On an hourly basis. And I have to be okay with that.
So, instead of trying so hard to be perfect, I'm going to start doing my best to be Emma's mom. :)